Time to pack it in, Taylor Nation.
The Sparkly Dressed seems to have taken control of her own narrative. Instead of being interviewed with the same old list of questions we’ve heard over and over, she’s just writing the whole article herself. That is the case of her 30 Things Before 30 now on ELLE magazine (USA version). Here at the Swift Agency, just a guy and two dozen cake-eating ninjas that will work for food, we guess it means we’re out of a job. Taylor’s might have a bit of an inside scoop on writing about herself. There is no way we can compete. It’s time to close it down, pack it in, shut off the lights and go home.
Or we can provide some run along commentary… Yes?
Ninjas in the background: YASSS!
Well, of course we can’t just copy the entire thing. Yeah, that would be blatant plagiarism and we try to aim to keep journalistic integrity. Instead, let me comment and give you my take on a few of these:
- TWO: Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble. “Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back,” writes Taylor. “Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you.” This is the first one that makes me feel this is not just a fluff piece. T has grown some scales to protect her skin, and as much as that means she’s being hurt the truth is growth and pain go hand in hand. And yes, there will be times in which people will try stepping on you. I still think you have to pick your battles on a case-by-case scenario. I will however grant that Taylor’s career choice guarantees she’s going to get more harshly examined and personally attacked that some guy that works IT.
- THREE: Trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal. I know this is the usual “don’t be afraid to make mistakes” one, but the reason why I want to highlight it is that it has some of Taylor’s dry humour in it: “No, this is not an excuse to text your ex right now. That’s not what I said. Or do it, whatever, maybe you’ll learn from it. Then you’ll probably forget what you learned and do it again…. But it’s fine; do you, you’re searching.”
- SEVEN: My biggest fear. We never knew Tay was keeping the Manchester bombing and the Las Vegas shooting in mind when planning for her rep stadium tour. Makes me think about the details that specifically were more convenient to choosing the large venues. “There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense, and effort put into keeping my fans safe. My fear of violence has continued into my personal life. I carry QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds.” And yes, she’s aware that the addresses to all her homes have been published. She’s taking that very well, but it worries me more that I can say that people can’t respect boundaries or even worse: that people are just out there to harm other people.
- THIRTEEN: It’s my opinion that in cases of sexual assault, I believe the victim. This one I have to quote word by word: “Coming forward is an agonizing thing to go through. I know because my sexual assault trial was a demoralizing, awful experience. I believe victims because I know firsthand about the shame and stigma that comes with raising your hand and saying ‘This happened to me.’ It’s something no one would choose for themselves. We speak up because we have to, and out of fear that it could happen to someone else if we don’t.” I will add one note here. If you want to be an ally to victims of sexual assault, don’t try to speak for them. Just listen to them.
- EIGHTEEN: Realizing childhood scars and working on rectifying them. This one took me by surprise. “For example, never being popular as a kid was always an insecurity for me,” she writes. And then a surprising, self-aware moment in which she criticizes the way the Girl Squad became a media thing both loved and hated. “In my twenties I found myself surrounded by girls who wanted to be my friend. So I shouted it from the rooftops, posted pictures, and celebrated my newfound acceptance into a sisterhood, without realizing that other people might still feel the way I did when I felt so alone,” she says acknowledging she might have gone overboard. For the record, I never hated the idea of the squad itself but I didn’t approve of the way she spotlighted her famous friends on stage – it’s the one qualm that I had with the 1989 Tour and fortunately there wasn’t a celebrity catwalk portion when it came to Montreal. “It’s important to address our long-standing issues before we turn into the living embodiment of them,” Taylor concludes.
- TWENTY-ONE: Fashion is all about playful experimentation. I had to put in a fun one before we got too serious. It’s refreshing to see someone at the top of their game being self-deprecating, although you know that has been a Taylor trait all along. She condenses her cringe in one word, “See: Bleachella.” I honestly don’t think she looked bad at all.
- TWENTY-THREE: I learned that I have friends and fans in my life who don’t care if I’m #canceled. This one made me happy to read but when she started mentioned the reputation tour, I did felt a bit sad reading the line, “I’ll never forget the ones who stuck around.” Sorry to say, I didn’t make it to the rep tour in the end. Dates, finances, health issues, workload – none of those lined up. I have this irrational fear that since I didn’t go to the rep tour, I’m not less of a fan. I know this is NOT true. Many fans of T-Swizzle don’t get to go to one concert much less to as many concerts as I have, but still that feeling is there.
- TWENTY-FOUR: I’ve had to learn how to handle serious illness in my family. This one is a difficult one and hits home for me. “Both of my parents have had cancer, and my mom is now fighting her battle with it again.” I can’t help but empathize. There are some real problems to worry about. Drama is just a fad.
- TWENTY-SIX: I make countdowns for things I’m excited about. I can relate in 5… 4… 3… 😉
- TWENTY-EIGHT: I’m finding my voice in terms of politics. Yeah, not everyone is going to be a fan of this one, but I have to applaud her for being informed and taking a stand. That being said, I’m also glad she’s more subtle about it during her concerts. Hopefully it stays that way.
- THIRTY: My mom always tells me that when I was a little kid, she never had to punish me for misbehaving because I would punish myself even worse. All is said in the title, but I really like the way she ended this which also works as the perfect tag line to the article: “Step into the daylight and let it go.”
Coming up in the Calendar:
- March 14: The sixth annual iHeartRadio Music Awards returns Thursday, March 14, 2019 live on FOX at 8/7C. Taylor Swift’s video for “Delicate” is up for Best Music Video. Swifties are up for Best Fan Army presented by Taco Bell.
(Sources: ELLE magazine)